Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
