i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
