He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
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