I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Randomize
