its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
