I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
