can we get nightvision for the apartment?
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Randomize
