Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
