You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
