i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Holy shit dude........stairs
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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