Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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