how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
