Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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