Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize