You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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