i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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