i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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