My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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