is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Randomize
