I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
