Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
Randomize
