I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
