these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
