Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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