I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize
