Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
it's great music for shaving your balls
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
