Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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