I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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