pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Randomize
