he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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