they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
