Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Did I show you my penis last night?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
