You work out of a Hotel?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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