I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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