either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
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