idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
