i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
