That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Why is there bacon in the couch?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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