no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Randomize