How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Randomize
