does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
Randomize
