I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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