i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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