Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize