Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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