Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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