would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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