She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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