what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
When are your genitals available?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
