he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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