I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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