areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
