She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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