dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
