Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
