careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
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