the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
