Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
