So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
