She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
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Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
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That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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