You work out of a Hotel?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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