I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
i want to swaddle you in tequila
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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