Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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