gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
