it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
