My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
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